My Lolita Life Part 3: Everything Is Almost Ruined

 Ah, here we go, the 2014-15 era, time to re-visit my most active time in the fashion, but also the most horrible time for me in the community... Time to get salty over things that happened years ago, about false friends, posts on forums and what led to me almost quit the fashion... I've said before about how the early-mid 2010's was the worst time to join and this was, for me, the worst of it all...

So, where do we start... Well, I mentioned that my local comm started doing meets in early 2014... I believe the first one was in February, and then there was another in March (which I think was actually a meet from the large comm I mentioned before...) though admittedly I can't even remember what I wore! I think it's probably because these two meets felt rather insignificant compared to what was about to happen...

Those co-ords can't have been very good anyway, since in April I ordered a whole bunch of made-to-order lolita clothes from an indie brand, here in the UK, back when there was barely any... Also bare in mind this was 2014, so old-school style stuff was seen as unfashionable (and I'll get onto that later...), so it was hard to even find someone to make that stuff in the first place... And yes, I said indie brand, not indie brands, I made a huge mistake in ordering from just the one, since it meant I didn't have everything until July 2015! And I feel like I overworked the lolita that ran it (who is still very much active today, and who I have since bought the occasional thing from...), to the point I feel she got fed up of me or something... This wasn't mistake No.1 for me, of course, since we also had me being too quick to join the community and me starting my own comm when I was in no place to run one... But I made many mistakes during 2014-15... This isn't to say that getting these clothes made was a mistake, but rather asking for so much at once...

Not only did I make terrible mistakes, but my relationship with people started to go downhill too... Around this time a lolita lied to one of my friends about me being at a meet (which I wasn't even at) and saying horrible things about this friend... As it turned out, this lolita was a chronic liar and most of the community had turned against her and her horrible lies... But this wouldn't be the last time I'd have issues with lolitas during 2014-15 either...

Anyway, I went to another local comm meet in May, and just before that meet I received my first lolita dress! It felt so nice to actually wear a dress at a meet! Then at the start of June I attended my first (and last) ILD event... The theme was fancy, but I didn't (and don't) have anything really OTT... So what did I wear? You know that pirate outfit from the previous year? I wore that... Yes, I wore my terrible attempt at pirate lolita again, just because I thought it was the most fancy thing I had... Oh, and you remember the pirate lolita I mentioned before? She was at this ILD tea party too... And do you know who else was at this tea party? The owner of the indie brand I mentioned before, where she gave me a couple more items of clothing... Which led to what I wore to two different conventions during the next two weekends-

As a lolita co-ord it's not great, but I still think it looks pretty cool!

A week later and here I am again with Steven Lullaby the alpaca...

I realise that as a lolita co-ord it's still rather 'ita', but I still like it... I guess it might count as a punk co-ord, despite the complete lack of tartan that every punk lolita co-ord seems to have... It's also probably the nearest I ever got to steampunk too... It's also worth mentioning that around this time I got into Kokusyoku Sumire, and by that I mean I got a bit obsessed with them which led onto, well, I'll get onto that in a bit... And 3 weekends out somewhere clearly wasn't enough as I joined the comm in my second nearest city and then attended my first meet there...

This is all I have from that meet sadly... But look, I'm actually wearing a dress!

At this meet I seemed to gel very well with the lolitas there, more so than in my own local community... Whilst I got on well enough with both them and my nearest big comm, I felt like I got on best with this new comm... This comm was good, this comm was too good... There was even another meet the following weekend where I think I wore the same co-ord... Then I had a few weeks where I didn't go out on the weekend before it was time to go to my local comm's meet again...

Basically the same co-ord as before but with an actual lolita blouse this time!

Here's the meet where I feel I messed up with my local comm... I think I felt that other comm was better, which probably annoyed the lolita I'd basically dumped the comm onto a bit... I don't think she hated me or anything, at least not before that meet, but I think I ruined our relationship a bit... Not to mention I was still obsessed with Kokusyoku Sumire, and had come up with my own idea of 'lolita music' (more about that in a bit...) though that was to get even worse... There was also a lolita that I'm still friends with today (who took that picture in fact...) who I still talk to about things, who has since said about talking to the lolita I mentioned before the meet and her telling them about me, and that she clearly didn't have a problem with me being there... However, I feel like this meet changed that, and was in fact the last meet of my local comm I went to... All I know is that this lolita moved back to where she originally came from and someone else is running my local comm now...

Online things were about to also go rather sour, since a 'friend' posted me on BtB at the start of September, complaining about my ' lolita music', calling me creepy and saying that I should quit the fashion entirely... This 'friend' also complained about me on 'ita' threads, posting a recent pic of me and saying I should sell up and move on...

I think this was the pic... Not the best but also not the worst...

Of course, this was 2014, so black and white old-school co-ords were frowned upon... But I was just experimenting at the time, even though that was also frowned upon... This wouldn't happen now! But it probably soured my relationship with a few of my friends, and I ditched the whole 'lolita music' idea since I felt nobody liked it... This wasn't actually true, since I did have one friend that seemed to like it, this person being a lolita local to me and one of my best lolita friends at the time, the one I referenced in my previous post in fact... But apart from them (who said they loved it when someone does something different with music), there seemed to be nobody else on board with the idea... As for the poster, I think I know who this 'friend' was anyway, and this person wasn't a member of any of my local comms... Anyway, I still went to another con later on in September-

Yes, this co-ord again, but now with added Steven Lullaby!

You can tell I still had a very limited wardrobe at this point...

Things were fairly quiet during the rest of 2014, I went to a couple more conventions, but no more lolita meets that year...

October 2014 and this probably doesn't count as lolita, but it's still cute...

November 2014 and I don't think using that wig really works for this co-ord...

At the end of 2014, I made the decision that I wanted to try Ouji... I attempted to put together a few co-ords using what I had, but these weren't very good... I also joined an online ouji group and made friends with a french ouji, but that wasn't to last...

2015 started with me attending my first meet in 6 months, it was with the comm in my second nearest city, but it was a disaster... I missed the bus I was meant to catch and arrived at the café where they all met up late and I hadn't even got changed yet and went and got changed in the bathroom but struggled to get changed... All I remember was walking through town with all these lolitas and there I was already back in normie clothing... The only good memory of this meet was a couple of lolitas making Venus Angelic parodies, but needless to say, it was a disaster for me... In fact, it was the last meet for this comm I ever went to, especially with what was to happen later...

Over the next couple of months there were also a couple of other small things, such as racism issues with a certain problematic wig company that I'd bought all my wigs from up until that point... Then there was the french ouji I mentioned before starting to get rather annoyed with me, but not before I bought a Baby The Stars Shine Bright blouse from her, my first (and only) piece of burando... I did dial back my interaction with her a lot after this though and we were still friends for now... I also met up with another lolita, the lolita that ran my second-nearest comm a few times... Things seemed fine, especially as she was autistic too, until she suddenly un-friended me... Did she get fed up of me? Then I found out that her and another lolita from this comm (who was also autistic!) had an in-joke where they posted secrets about each other on BtB... This will be important later...

But anyway, in June 2015 I attended a convention which had a lolita tea party and I decided to do my first proper attempt at ouji...

Not really that bad for a first attempt...

Notice the BtSSB blouse I mentioned before! Also the shorts were just a modified pair of trousers... I actually got the idea from an old (even then) video from a certain problematic lolita Youtuber (the one I was once friends with, in fact...) since it was a lot harder to get hold of ouji stuff back then, especially since it's very much a niche in lolita (just like old-school...) and I think I did fine, not perfect but not terrible either... I actually sent this pic to the french ouji I mentioned before and she... She straight up blocked me! That was uncalled for! I guess she wasn't very unhappy with me sending her an unsolicited ouji picture...

So now I'd lost a couple of friends during 2015 for, in my mind, rather trivial reasons... Not to mention I still hadn't fully recovered from 2014... I went to another tea party at a convention in September that year, by which point I finally had all the clothes I'd ordered the previous year, though now I was more into doing ouji and wore that again...

Not exactly the maddest of hatters...

The hat I'd actually bought at that previous convention! And, oh look, I'm wearing a waistcoat this time! However, things were really about to take a tumble... In October, early on that month, one of my lolita friends, one I mentioned before, applied to join a group for helping out other lolitas... I replied to them that I felt they shouldn't since them and the lolita I used to be friends with posted about each other on BtB... At this point I had no idea what was about to happen...

Basically, next thing I know is that someone had screenshot this reply and put THAT on BtB... I got a message from this lolita asking if it was me, but it was clear they were certain it was, (which it wasn't,) and I just didn't know how to respond, so they blocked me (which they had already threatened to do...) and then the lolita that hadn't been my friend for about 6 months at this point (who I think was the actual poster...) sent me a horrible message too... This led to me deleting all my friends I made in the fashion (including the local lolita I mentioned before that was one my best lolita friends...) and leaving the lolita community, as I no longer knew who to trust!

This, in hindsight, seemed like a terrible mistake, especially as I now miss my comm and many of my lolita friends... It's worth mentioning that some did get back in contact with me after this incident, but now I only have a few lolita friends left... I know both my nearest comm and the large comm still exist, but I don't think the comm in my second nearest city, which these two were part of, still exists, and that's probably for the best...

Anyway, I went to a few more conventions during 2015, but I didn't wear lolita or ouji at any of them... In fact, I actually thought about quitting the fashion, I really nearly did quit lolita entirely and sell up and move on like a 'friend' had wanted me to do the year before... Whilst I never had another vendetta-chan like that, things had soured between me and a few lolita friends to the point where it felt like the community was largely ruined for me... I realise there wasn't much IRL community issues and that it was more online, but yet here I am years later with no IRL community and all my lolita interactions done online... In fact, 2015 had been a disastrous year for me in general and I'd decided not to do conventions during 2016 either... So, what to do about lolita fashion?

December 2015 and I'm wearing ouji again...

I decided not to completely quit after all, though things were never the same again... I know this post has been a long one, but I had a lot to get through! Things would be much quieter after this, so my next post will cover a much longer period of time, but might be shorter... At least that's the worst stuff over and done with...